Can the "can"

The ads in this morning's paper demonstrate that copywriters for luxury brands are completely brainless when trying to be relevant.
Cigar Aficionado. Gosh. I can't think of anything more relevant than overpriced instruments of celebrating excess, but can't fault whoever wrote this. Gitmo is finally going to shut. Light it up.


(Apologies for poor iPhone picture resolution--on the upper right corner is the tag line, "Yes, you can.")
Harry Winston. "Yes, you can"? Seriously. Harry. What was going on in your karat when you approved this? "We just inaugurated our first black president. People are amped. LET'S EMPOWER THEM TO BUY DIAMOND RINGS."
This ad doesn't really offend me. I mean, what better TIME to talk about watches than during this TIME of "pride, promise and hope," right? I think I'm more annoyed that they think "time" is a powerful turn of phrase. You make friggin' watches that actually CAN'T tell time. Have you ever been able to judge time on the face of a Movado? Although I've parodied this phrase when uttered by wannabe b-boys, I think a simple, "It's time." would have sufficed.

[Ed.: This just in at The Hater. An ostrich-skin "Hope-Obama" clutch. takes. the. cake.]