Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Apologies

I apologize to those on my Facebook network that were subject to the chlamydia of some hacker fark. Don't worry. I will find him. And I will go number two into his scrota so I can say he has sh+t for brains.

I'm posting this on my blog because I have a feeling only five of you were really worried about said Chlamydia, while the other 200 people who got spam-ed had already been through this with other people. And I have a feeling you five FB-STD virgins are the same five people who regularly read this blog, since this blog doesn't "get around."

So now, a note about Facebook.

Preamble: I'd been wanting desperately to deactivate my account for a while now, despite, or because of the fact that it would suck up so much of my time (especially late at night when I'm most susceptible to crappy entertainment and self-important postings). Getting hacked was a great lynchpin. Now that I'm off it, I can rant about my FB network's poor etiquette.

Pictures.
What's the funniest thing you've ever seen? I'll give you a minute to think about this.
Now, who do you hate more than anyone else?
Unless the answer to question 2 is the subject of question 1, you should never post embarrassing pictures. Because otherwise you become my answer to question 2, and the answer to question 1 becomes:
I posted pictures of Question 2 acting like a slut at Halloween on Facebook and then she lost her job, and now she's a clown in Atlantic City. A really friggin' hilarious clown.

Networking.
You seriously can't email me? Nothing is more annoying than writing into a slow-ass ghetto message template when I got five perfectly sophisticated email accounts from which I can write and share more freely. Unless the message directly pertains to the Facebook world, you should use one of the fifty other federally approved tools of communication. A message from "Facebook User John Doe" is a message from someone who depends on Facebook's curation for credibility, and that, my friends, is like adopting a hooker so you can "safely" be a pervert.

Games.
Why the hell would I ever play Farm Town or Mafia? Ping me when they make Paid Work.

1 comment:

rhino said...

Where is the like button?