Last night I went to a corporate karaoke party for a hedge fund in lower Manhattan. I'd heard amazing things about this company, where my friend Daniel (who does hardware development for them) has been working since 2009 Q3 (hehehe). And from what I can tell, the diversity of their workplace spans all spectra, though the diversity was very compartmentalized. HR was composed mostly of women, lawyers all had boring haircuts, and the programmers. Well...

Programmers.

Put them together in a karaoke bar and what do you have? Beauty. Comedy. The meaning of nerd reaffirmed.

Episode 1: Programmer A (somewhat portly, nicely dressed, wire-frame glasses) sings "We Belong to the Night" by Pat Benetar. He finishes, returns to the table where all the programmers are sitting (including myself but only by proxy) and comments to Daniel:

"That song was 10% longer than it should have been."

Episode 2: Programmer B (striped wool sweater, grey kakhis and skater shoes...and still the nerdiest looking dude that night) argues that "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" is a false dichotomy, as it implies that unlike girls, boys don't want to have fun, which is not true.

Episode 3: Programmer C (a middle-aged Frenchman who's reputed to be a mathematical genius), "researches" songs on his iPhone to determine what fits the Karaoke Matrix of Entertainment-vs.-Talent best and decides on "Mamma Mia."
He sings the entire song slouched, with one hand stuffed deep in his pocket.

Episode 4: Programmer A has invited a woman he's just met, to the karaoke party. Before she arrived he recited to those around him, the re-appropriation of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" he used to entice her. His version describes the act of singing in public instead of being dumped. All the programmers approve.

The woman never showed up.

Episode 5: Lawyerly looking dude (tall, big, clean haircut, light pink dress shirt, black pants and sports jacket) goes on stage, starts singing...

I Swear

I swear to you he actually sang this song unironically. How do I know he took it seriously? Because a programmer in the audience jokingly crooned along in a falsetto and the lawyerly type said into the mic:

Alright, seriously. Stop that.

Same lawyer sang Michael Bublé later, which set off all the ladies in HR. ("Hello LAdiiiiiies")

Frankly, I'm all about the nerds. I'm in love with each and every one of you. Don't ever let someone shush you from mocking their rendition of All-4-One.