I will never:

Wear Uggs

Wear cargo pants

Wear polar fleece as my outermost layer

Pick my nose in public

Stop using my hands to eat

Make glottal chewing sounds while eating

Not laugh maniacally

I will, however:

Wear ill-fitting shoes

Wear unflattering clothing

Wear the same long underwear several days in a row under everything

Pick my belly button in public

Not necessarily wash my hands when I should

Slurp my noodles

Fake a laugh