Thursday, September 20, 2007

Gordon Ramsay's American "Kitchen Nightmares" sucks.
What a huge disappointment. Fox turned a perfectly fine show and made it "foxy," which can be done with the following ingredients:

1. An outfit of string players and a cymbal to play the Fox Sports intro every other ten seconds no matter what's going on (signifies suspense).
2. A marimba playing that ubiquitous American Beauty track (signifies pensiveness).
3. Cut out all silent pauses between two sides of an argument. Mash all dialogue together (signifies conflict).
4. Insert pregnant pauses after really provocative comment. If really provocative, also add the sound of a record being suddenly halted by a DJ (signifies shock).
5. Long Island

[Oh my god I just had a terrible idea - a reality show pitting TV show orchestra players against each other...with typical TV show orchestral foley.]

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