Monday, October 1, 2007

Does Your Dick Say Micro Machines?

My friend Michael's just introduced me to a book called Knock the Hustle, which I'm only blogging about because of the first line in its press release:

It's time to stop equating professionalism with dress codes, skin color and testosterone.

That, to me, is an example of great headlining. It's a straightforward message using the syntax that defines the very genre (business advice). [Though I would have opted for the more obvious "testicles" or more Latin "testes" in lieu of "testosterone," since the writer is alluding to gender discrimination, and not necessarily saying companies are unfairly biased towards bodybuilders and Haus-Fraus (or God, I hope that's not what they assume).]

Segue: I might have mentioned this on my old Vertical blog before, but I sooooooo wish I were in charge of advertising the Dyson vacuums. They missed a golden opportunity to use the following slogan:

Dyson. Finally something that really sucks.

Segue Two: Back in junior high, we used to make insults out of advertising slogans. For example, you could ask some unassuming young boy, "does your dick say Micro Machines?" The idea being no one would respond, "why yes. My dick is microscopically small. Small, small small..." Also, no one actually writes on their dick, right? Anyway, now you've cornered them in a trick question, because you say to them, "then it's not the real thing!"
I have a vague memory of a similar insult directed at moms, involving a beer slogan, but for the life of me I can't remember it. Something about fast refreshment, or beer goggles and waking up with poo all over you or something I dunno. Who can remember these things.

Anyhoo, this formula makes me wonder - did kids used to make insults out of ad slogans back in the day? Like "does your penis say Coca-Cola?" ("The Real Thing" also being a Coke slogan...)

1 comment:

Assholier Than Thou said...

you have dredged up dreaded memories of "Me Chinese, me play joke, me put pee-pee in your Coke" from childhood. thus, i have soiled my pants as a pavlovian response.