Thursday, November 1, 2007

Twilight Zone Brooklyn

I just stepped out to collect my dried laundry when on the way I walked past two middle-aged women pontificating about young women being "disrespectful."

Jane Doe 1: That's what my niece needs, a beatdown. (Neckroll) A proper beatdown (neckroll/slow blink combo) teach her discipline.

Jane Doe 2: That's what I'm telling her. If she's going to act like a boy I'm going to beat her like a boy.


I thought of all those PSA's about domestic violence, and what I'm supposed to do about this admission of corporal punishment, but realized I just got a short haircut and was wearing jeans with a ratty sweater. God forbid I get beat like a boy.

Once entering the laundromat, a pudgy old man snapped an unwilling photo of me with a disposable camera and said, "smile!" I grimaced and turned away from him. Next thing I know he's explaining that he's with an insurance company taking pictures of the place because the owner is being sued by someone who was attacked by his dog.

Insurance man to no one in particular: You come here often? (I ignore him) You see dogs around here? Because my client got attacked by a dog.

Another laundromat patron: I ain't seen no dogs around in the laundromat. I wouldn't do laundry with a dog in here.


What a clusterf***.


Assholier Than Thou said...

when i worked for the city, there was a security guard who was always friendly to me named fred. fred worked the lobby and would always say hello and goodbye to me everyday. one day fred came up with a disposable camera and said he was shipping out in the reserves and wanted to take a picture of all his friends in the building. later on in the day, i run into a coworker, ben, another young asian gentleman, and he asks me, "hey, did fred ask to take a picture with you?" and i was like, yeah. he told me he was leaving for the reserves. to which he replied, "thats not what he told me. he said he wanted to take a picture with all the asian people he knew in the building because he was trying to get with this asian girl and wanted to show her that he had asian friends." anyways, im much more upset that fred told ben and not me the truth more than the fact that he needed this picture to get some.

ill iterate said...

That's like when I started taking pictures of all the black ladies on my block to convince black men to date me...wait. No.

Ed Sizemore said...

As someone who was subject to, and still supports, spanking. I'm shocked to hear that girls get a lighter sentence. Equal punishment for the same crime!

Red Pooka said...


Go read "That Mean Old Yesterday." Good memoir on a techy subject - corporal punishment among African Americans.

Of course, I'm making immense assumptions here.

Red Pooka!