vortex continues

Well, it's officially a vortex. I got wiped out by a cold over the weekend, and now my roommate is throwing up everything that goes into his mouth.

But there's some silver lining here, if silver is the sometimes color of magic. I'm working the Giant Robot store (on 9th at A y'all. Come say 'hi'). And no joke, there is a hawk or eagle, trapped behind our building. I keep hearing "skreeeeee!"

SKREEE!

Can't find it, otherwise you know I'd rock the falconer's pose out there. I'm wearing my LL Bean hunting boots and everything (which btw, have become indispensible. If you're in a cold place, I highly recommend buying a pair. It's worth every cent.).

Then as if in a Kozlowski film, this old mute woman gestured at the locked door to let her in. I unlocked the door and explained that we weren't open yet but she gave me these sad eyes, so I thought, "damn it is cold out there" and let her in. She walked down the galley moaning approval of the comics and stickers, then picked up an Adrian Tomine postcard and walked out. She walked over to the adjacent Gallery and did the same exact thing.

Anyhoo, none of the magic or sickness prevents me from rolling with the blog show. I'm conscripting myself to write today. (Cracking knuckles)

First, as I'm completely sure you all know, PornTube is being sued for copyright infringement. Yes, you heard me right. PornTube. That it exists, though not surprising, is the real gem in this story. Go ahead, laugh. It's so quietly deliciously hilarious.

Speaking of porn, I was recently shocked to learn that women are no longer saddled with just the prospects of a more youthful vulva (rejuvination), but also with the prospect of "virgin pink nipples." Someone is making and selling "nipple brightening cream," folks. I can't tell you how many ways this offends me. As if we didn't hate the way we look enough, now the tips of our bzonkadonks are too dark. For some reason, this offends me way more than any other kind of cosmetic procedure. Yet I am as offended as I am philosophical. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend, whose girlfriend didn't shave her armpits but did shave her Y. The boyfriend said, "same difference. Both shaves make her look younger than she is, and she just doesn't care as much what I think of her armpits, so it actually makes more sense." No, friend. Not the same difference. But why not?