Monday, September 22, 2008

Voicing Approval Versus Voting

As many of you know, there's a PBS poll being taken right now which asks the question, "Is Sarah Palin qualified to become Vice President of the United States?"

Regardless of how honestly we can answer that question, the issue seems to be that the Republicans and Democrats are campaigning for us to vote out the margins on this issue by going online and clicking "yes" or "no."

I can't imagine everyone's not cheating. You can answer the poll as many times as you want, making this the most unscientific tally since American Idol and "eenie meeenie miney mo."

Now, I'm not telling you how to vote in the general election, honestly. Far be it for me... But I did notice: it's amazing this election season how fixated we are on ancillary popular opinion polls (i.e. polls that don't ask how you're going to vote, but how you feel about someone who isn't the top of the ticket), and it forces me to think we're being corralled into polling because both sides assume the "undecideds" are so stupid they'll just follow a majority. A majority created by clicking on a button over and over.

"Look Anne. 54% of people polled on CBS/PBS say they think Palin is qualified. I'm sold. I'm votin' for John McCain!"

And then there are the "guy you'd rather have a beer with" questions. It's like being asked what celebrity you'd most like to fuck. A reasonable person would have an answer, chuckle, then add, "BUT OF COURSE, IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN."

Don't forget, people. You and I will never ever kick back and have a beer with McCain or Obama, we will never ever make moose stew with Palin, or share a microwaved nachos from the food car on the damned Amtrak to Wilmington with Biden. Ever.

And so if you really want to express your approval rating, I highly recommend you do what you do with anyone else you can't sleep with and rub one off. (Then go vote at that PBS poll)

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