Overheard on the subway

Man in late 40s, whom I always see in my bus-ride:

...it's called desiccation. With a hernia it bulges out. Mine are all shriveled up.

Man in 30s, talking to a woman (colleague, possibly) who is very obviously flirting with him:

Joe's the kind of guy who thinks every girl who gives him a lap dance is in love with him. I tell him every time, no, idiot. They're doing a job.