Thursday, January 15, 2009


I've never seen the movie "Alive," but I can tell you that "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "The Cook, the Thief, his Wife, her Lover" and "301/302" are all wonderful movies in part because they end in cannibalism. I especialy love "301/302," where the cannibalism is a homo-wonderful psychosexual act of symbiosis. In the movie, apartment 301 is inhabited by a lusty gourmand who lives to cook. Room 302 is inhabited by an anorexic child-abuse survivor who only eats vitamins. 301 and 302 hate, then love each other, then eventually make a pact -- 301 will eat...yes, eat...302. You know, to put her out of her depressed misery and spend the rest of her life inside her best friend's body?

Anyway, 301/302 is the only movie that makes logical sense of cannibalism, because the cannibalized human is treated like a comestable meat. She feeds on a vegetable-mineral diet free of all toxins. It's the purest kind of flesh, and the only kind that would taste good. In real life, humans would taste horrible because of all the toxins we ingest and store in our cells. If you think about it, most of the animals we eat are vegetarians themselves. It's bad enough they are shot up with antibiotics, but imagine if your hamburger were a chain smoking alcoholic. Yum.

All of this however, is just a preamble to why I think this is the grossest thing I've ever seen. Not simply because of its pervy nature (the wax darts don't bother me in an of...), but because the average dickwad is going to be chock full of toxins.

Furthermore, I don't think I'll ever be able to eat flan again.


Anonymous said...

I'd eat you out.

Michelle said...

I wish I got creepy sexual comments on my blog...

301/302 was the first modern Korean film I saw. It made me proud to be Korean.