It turns out life-changing vacations are nothing new.
There's even a book out there specifically about how women can "get their groove back" in Bali. I'm annoyed that my transformation is a cliché. Enough of a cliché to have warranted a best-selling book I'm going to refuse to look up.
A catalog of lessons and promises.
a. The rate at which I smoke cigarettes now would give Joe Camel a non-metaphorical boner. As a counter-vice I'm going to try never to throw out a cigarette butt on the sidewalk or road again.
b. I've momentarily lost my appetite. I've replaced it with wanderlust, and before my passport expires, I plan on filling the last eight squares of blank immigration papers with stamps from Norway, Mongolia, France and South Africa.
c. Most music sucks. I'm going to see more live music.
d. There will always be elephants in a room. Ride them.