10 Things I learned from Norwegian MTV

I have a house-mate as of yesterday. She's a Dutch film major doing a documentary on polar nights. After dinner last night she turned on the TV and the local MTV-like channel was the only thing that made sense to either of us. Though neither of us watches it, the TV is centrally located in the living room where we both do all our editing, so I've essentially caught up on ten years worth of commercial music in the last two days.

And this is what I've learned about pop music in the last 48 hours.

1. I finally understand why people are in such an uproar about autotune. It's pervasive as hell. But you know what? It looks like autotune is keeping a lot of talented hip-hop dancers out of prostitution, so let them have it. I love watching good coordinated pop music dance. Especially a guy rocking his own version of a pop-rock-roll. I'll watch it with autotune if that's what it takes.

If however, you do not know how to do a perfect neck jerk, snap, coordinated kick-step or rock nod, you do not deserve autotune.

2. Speaking of autotune... Lil' Jon autotuned? Really? That's like auto-tuning Gilbert Godfried. Come to think of it that could be pretty sweet. (Calling his agent)

3. The Black Eyed Peas suck my big black balls.

4. Dr. Dre is way hotter than Jay-Z, which settles the age old debate of West Coast versus east Coast for me.

5. Never watch Lady Gaga while eating food.

6. I finally understand why Time magazine named Kanye black Jesus (pre-Obama). His videos are facsimiles of every pop cultural phenomenon they've reported on in the last thirty years.

7. Kelis. Yes.

8. Music videos could be a great avenue for fashion marketing. Why isn't it happening?

9. Don't show off your tattoos in slow motion. It's really lame.

10. Someone please send Norway some better music. They're rolling in klondikes and won't blink if you charge them $60 for a CD.