Language Musings

Some funny Franglish mis-pronunciations/mis-understandings:

Audrey: We're like The Agence Tous Risques. (Name of "The A-Team" in French)
Me: How are we like The Agence Tourisme?
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(French airport security looks through my carry-on luggage. Takes out a small tub of lip balm)
Me: It's a baume. I mean, lip balm, not a bomb. (Laughing very uncomfortably)
Security: (Smiles) I know. For your lips right? Hmm, rose mint. That's nice...
Me: (Laughing uncomfortably for totally different reason) Thanks. (Walks away quickly)
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Me: (Talking in high-pitched baby voice to a six year old) So glad to have met you! I hope I see you again soon!
Kid: (Blank and confused stare)
Kid's grandmother: Honey, did you understand what she said?
Kid: No.
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Me: You know Hall and Oates?
Audrey, who knows the entire 1980s catalog of pop rock by heart: No.
Me: Impossible. You gotta know who they are. "Private Eyes"? "The Kiss"?
Audrey: No.
Me: I'm positive you know them. (Pauses. Shamefully attempts a french accent) You know, all eh oeutz?
Audrey: Ahhhh oui! Of course! all eh oeutz! Sheez goet zee kiss, zee kiss, itz woeut I misss.
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Audrey: (Asks a reverse-negative question about how she looks in a new pair of sunglasses)
Me: (Watching television) Yeah. Totally.
Audrey: (Looking astonished) Great. Thanks for being honest... Did you hear what I said?
Me: (Still watching television) No. I wasn't listening to you. (Turns and faces Audrey) Want to try that again?
Audrey: Just say "that looks great."
Me:That looks great.